By Cho Amisola
First of all, I’m going to tell you it’s not that easy.
She has a cloud of thoughts that have long been kept in her mind ever since you met – questions that will remain unanswered – even if you do tell her assurances. She will always wonder if you’re being true, she’ll wonder if you really know what she’s going through and she’ll often wonder if you meant it when you said “I love you, too”.
She’ll always be wary of everything she does because she’s afraid that you might lose your interest in her. She’s afraid that you’ll get tired of her unceasing questions and suddenly leave her – the way the others did when they couldn’t stand her anymore.
She feels like being your friend, or being your girlfriend is too much ‘work’; she thinks she’s too exhausting to be with. She thinks that everything is her fault and at one snap, everyone will turn their backs on her – especially you.
But you have to understand that she’s like this because she’s just frightened to lose you, you’re like that streak of light in her dark world, the reason why she’s not letting the void eat her whole. She’s hopeful that maybe this time someone will stay, someone will accept her, and someone will make her fears go away.
Somehow this frightens her, too – this simple joy and hope that you bring – she’s afraid that the universe will take it away from her as well.
Her mind is always working, imagining things she would never want to happen and thinking about scenarios that kill her, even if those were just thoughts that she, herself, fabricated inside her head.
What you can do is listen intently, to all her rants, her fears, or all the questions that she would utter. Patiently explain to her that those images in her mind are not true – that those will not happen; that you will not leave her. Show her that you’re there, be the tangible proof that nothing bad is ever going to occur.
Tell her you love her even with her faults and anxiety. Tell her you accept her even when pessimism fills her mind completely.
Continue to be her source of light. Consistently bring positivity in her life. Teach her to trust again, prove her that not all men are the same, that you are nowhere close to the guy who made her question everyone’s intentions with her.
I told you, it’s not easy.
But once you gain her trust and once she finally learns to accept the love that you give, believe me, you’ll see the real her, that cheerful girl with a happy heart and the girl she really was, before she met all the peole that made her be filled with anxiety and fear.